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Challenging You To Write Bravely

Pay It Forward

By 85 Comments

In the end, only kindness matters
Have you heard of people stopping to pay at a toll booth on a highway and being told that the person in the car in front of them has already paid their toll? Or, had the experience of the server at your local coffee shop telling you with a smile that someone had come in early in the morning and paid for coffee for the next few customers? It’s a phenomenon that happens around the Holiday season in December, when feelings of goodwill, peace, and philanthropy permeate the air! People, in fact, have been thinking about why this cannot be a year-round phenomenon!

Why do people do this, you may ask? Is it their belief about getting rewarded for their generosity by the Higher Powers above, or is their motivation based solely on the glorious pleasure one gets in performing a selfless act. Just because you can. Just because you want to.

Ever since I started blogging, this is a characteristic I have witnessed and have experienced! Look at your own blogging past; haven’t you had bigger bloggers reaching out and lending you a helping hand? Haven’t you had the pleasure of encouraging comments filtering through to your otherwise lonely blog? Haven’t you asked a question at a blogging forum and received hoards of helpful answers? When I experienced this kindness from more bloggers than I can count on this page, I would always think about how I could pay them back!

But, the truth of the matter is that I couldn’t and I still can’t! These were big name bloggers who did not need my help. So, the only thing I can think of is to pay it forward. If I can help even one new blogger, just like those veterans helped me, wouldn’t that be wonderful?

Yes, I know; everyone has that niggling worry – if I help, won’t my blog take a hit? If I give out my blogging secrets, won’t my readership get diverted to the other site? It’s a valid concern to have, but you know what? No one can recreate your content. No one can quite write the same as you. And, at the end of the day, Content is King, and that’s why your readers will keep reading you. In the meantime, think of how good it feels when you have the solution to someone else’s blogging problem in your hands and you reach out and help him or her!

As our horizons expand by joining social media sites, we can reach out to more and more people; people who may or may not read our content; nevertheless there will be people with whom we share similar interests, similar goals or similar thoughts. It is always nice to know how best to interact with people whom you have never seen and may never see in real life. Please do let me know in the comments what you would like discussed in a future post!

I leave you with a poster I saw on Pinterest. It succinctly puts forward my online philosophy and I hope that you too will embrace it!

Write Tribe - Pay it forward


Roshni was born and brought up in Calcutta. She met her Andhra husband while they were doing their PhDs and the two set off for the sunny shores of California soon after. She has two rambunctious, mouthy boys who fight during the day, but then whisper and giggle with each other at night long after she’s told them to “go to sleep already!!” She blogs about her Indian American life, and pretty much any other topic, at Indian American Mom. Even though she keeps swearing off social media, you can also connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

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Comments

  1. Roshni, Love your heartwarming post and copying the note at the end. Paying it forward is such a beautiful thing, I t does give the receiver a surprise and makes him/her happy but the giver is doubly rewarded by the warm feeling that stays with him/her for a long time. Holding on to ideas and not sharing fearing others’ will win the race is so negative and I agree with you about the more you share the richer you get. Thanks for this amazing post.

    Reply

  2. Lovely post !
    I completely agree with you. I have people whom I didn’t even know come and set things right in my blog when I requested them. I am really grateful to them. And, sadly, there are some who act as if they know everything and when you approach them, they quietly vanish away from the scene, they don’t even have the decency to respond to the mail, by saying sorry they are not able to help with the problem. It is simple as that .
    Sure when you can help somebody why not, I have helped many people without expecting anything in return.
    Only recently I found you have added me in your google + circle of friends.
    Have a great day!

    Reply

  4. Pay it forward is an excellent way to live life and grow. Just wish everybody had this clarity that knowledge shared is wealth for everyone. 🙂

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  5. This post you have no idea what an eerriee resemblance it has to my thoughts Roshni seriously!!!…. I had decided to do a guest post series on my blog… done with 2 famous bloggers…the 3rd one is my way of giving back… a wonderful new blogger who needs visibility… will be publishing her post in a few hours now…

    I have received a lot of encouragement and love from the blogging world… and I thought this would be a great way to start giving back to the ones who need it now…

    it’s a wonderful post and lovely thought…. loved everybit of what you had to say 🙂 🙂

    Reply

  6. Hi Roshni, this is a very wonderful and soul stirring post. It is true that new bloggers have to face many hazards, but these are resolved by well established bloggers in the field. I started writing last year on the advice and motivation provided by my cousin,BK Chowla, who is himself an experienced and well established bloggers. I also got great support and help from Shilpa Garg, Corinne,Rachna, Panchali and you. I acknowledge that they provided help, when I was a new comer. I still get inspiration from blogger friends. I must also state that there are some well known bloggers who must take a lesson from this inspiring post. They shun new comers who approach their blogs with some hope but they are ignored. This unique post must must encourage them to be more co operative and friendly towards new comers.

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  7. Thanks a lot Roshni for such a nice write up, Loved every single word shared here. Looking forward to read more such lovely posts.

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  8. Knowledge shared is never lost. It always comes around and always when you most need it. I love your online philosophy and completely agree with it too. That poster just perfectly sums up the thought. 🙂

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  9. Brilliant… I share your thoughts completely.. and it is so true.. If ever I will have a regret in life ( I do not believe in regrets otherwise) it will only be for a moment when I was unkind to someone or hurt him… I feel the least one can do to make his existence meaningful in this world is be gentle at heart… give and it will come back to you many times over… but when you give never let even this thought cross your mind… be good for your own good!!! be a little selfish and do things to be proud of your own self…

    Reply

  10. Roshni , you are one blogger friend I have always admired , not just because you make us smile with the antics of big A and small a , but because you selflessly reach out to people 🙂 Lovely post btw 🙂

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  11. Love this post, Roshni! And so excited to discover your site as well. Wanted to offer to guest post some time in the fall. I’m a debut author of my first YA Book, featuring South Asian characters and wanted to inspire your readers and future writers out there. I live in New York with my hubby and four princesses. Looking forward to connecting.

    Best,

    Rajdeep Paulus
    Author of Swimming Through Clouds

    Reply

  13. Roshni, a heartwarming post! Indeed generosity is gratifying. Sometimes even a small gesture can make you feel so good. And yes, I do completely agree with what you write. We are each here with our own karmas. And, it does feel really nice to give someone a helping hand. I have personally written informative posts that I hope can help others. It is all about sharing experiences. And yes knowledge is for sharing. The more you give, the more you get back is what I believe. Thanks for reiterating.

    Reply

    • Thanks, Rachna! Yes, I definitely have benefited from your posts, but more than that, I loved the encouraging comments you’ve left at my site!!

      Reply

  14. You are so right, Roshni. I love how open and giving bloggers are – both on their own blogs and in supporting others. What an unexpected blessing it has been to meet such wonderful people like you through this experience!

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  15. did i not say you’re pretty darn amazing yourself? i owe a lot to the blogging community and i truly try to follow the Pay it Forward by sharing whatever I can. Wonderful post girlfriend.

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  16. Excellent thought, Roshni.

    How can I forget that when I started about 4 months back I was just writing without a direction. Had it not been Corinne who helped me introduce to a wider network of bloggers I would not have learnt so much (still learning though). I would not have been introduced to the various kinds of styles like haiku, 55 fiction, spine poetry, etc. Had it not been for you and her, I would not have been able to redesign the amateur looking blog (not that I did a great fancy job!) I think its always wise to pay it forward. The wheel gets rolling that way. Thanks

    Reply

  17. Hi Roshni,
    Act of kindness done through heart comes back in the form of contentment…undoubtedly, it’s a win win situation…no risks at all…………..

    Loved the Topic and your thoughts…

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  18. We try to “pay it foward” at least once a week it might be something small but it always puts a smile on someones face 🙂

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  19. Hi roshni

    very well said . I remember a movie called pay it forward which is about not repaying kindness but passing it on. Yes what matters in the end is your content

    Reply

  21. Hi Roshni,

    I loved this post because as I make my way through so many new things in life, I have always found kindness everywhere. From my colleagues, to my maids, to my friends, to my blogger friends & mommmy friends ( some of whom I have never met), to my closest buddies, to my neighbours, to my blog readers. It is not only a humbling experience but it in turn has taught me to give. Give without reserve.

    Thanks for posting. 🙂
    Love, Poornima

    Reply

  23. So classy and so true! I love what it says in that graphic at the end too. I think the more we try to pinch something and hold onto it, the more closed we become. Wonderful post, Roshni!

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  24. YES! The exact reason I started writing my Underdog WonderBlog. I’m not a big blog. In fact I’m brand new. But if I can help one other new blog get a few visitors, I think it’s well worth it. 🙂

    Reply

  25. “No one can recreate your content. No one can quite write the same as you. And, at the end of the day, Content is King, and that’s why your readers will keep reading you. In the meantime, think of how good it feels when you have the solution to someone else’s blogging problem in your hands and you reach out and help him or her!” Loved what you said and completely concur
    Beautiful thoughts there, Roshni! 🙂

    Reply

  26. So beautifully written….I believe in sharing ideas and my experience. I have realized that whenever I do that, my relationship with that blogger/writer has strengthened.

    Why not have a step by step guide on how to use Indiblogger or Blogadda…or maybe on how to handle comments that aggravate you or on how to confront people who aggravate you through their comments on your blog.

    Reply

  29. This is such a great post Roshni! I love it! I’m actually in tears today because so many of the bigger people aren’t out there trying to help the little people.

    This is something I definitely want to work on to help people just getting started to give them what to expect and its true. I find when I write the posts that mean the most to people my ideas start flowing more. Such a great post!

    Reply

    • Hey, so sorry, Shay! Did you have a bad experience with someone? So far, I’ve always encountered people helping people…never had anyone refuse to help or support someone!

      Reply

  32. Wow. I agree, if we help, we worry that we cannot sustain our own blogs, Help has to be mutual. if you’re helped, help back,. If you are commented upon, make the effort to leave a comment too. It sounds like an exchange, but really, the fairness is paramount because we ALL blog and write.

    Reply

  33. I think the fact that everyone helps each other out by commenting, inspiring, and helping each other out is what makes blogging so appealing. It is one big community of friends. It makes an otherwise lonesome person feel totally connected to a world of people who care and it is awesome. Brilliant post!

    Reply

    • Oh so true! It felt so awesome to get those initial encouraging comments when I first started out that I feel like everyone should have the same kind of support!

      Reply

  34. Lovely, Roshni. There is space on the big world wide web for all of us, and we are all better when we help each other out. When I started blogging, I was so worried about ‘competing’ in my niche, but, like you’ve written, only your blog has YOU, and your voice, and your perspective, and that makes it unique. I’ve found much more collaboration than competition ~ and that is awesome and what makes blogging so amazing. Great post.

    Reply

    • Rightly said, Sarah! And, your blog is so unique, I don’t think there would be anyone who can write in your niche and perspective quite so well!

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  35. I so agree! My blog is intended for those who are just starting out in the writing world, because I, myself, still have a lot of learning to do. I blog things I learn as I go along, and I get a lot of support from my friends, BUT I often feel that that’s just all it is – most of my discussion is far below their level of expertise. Our local writers’ group is focused on learning, too, so we have newbies each year, and the old-timers just pitch in and give advice. I absolutely love Ayush’s line ( above, in her comment) about being the one that SHOWED the way instead of the one who ShOOED him away!

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  36. Hi Roshini,
    A very timely message!!
    I could very well relate it in many areas of my blogging and other official life.
    I have posted few posts in this regard of sharing our blessings with others!
    I am sure it will return one day with double or more package with it. LOL
    so let us not withhold our talents, blessings or for that matter whatever it is
    share and teach others, that will not never be a lose. instead a blessing in itself.
    Keep sharing
    Keep inform
    Yes, let us share our knowledge for the benefit of others.
    well written one. Thanks Corrine for airing the view of Roshini 🙂
    Best Regards

    Reply

  37. Roshni , chhoti mooh, badi baat : I would say Pay it forward and from all sides. A person who has helped me in the struggling days, either with compliments or guidance , should be acknowledged , respected and remembered for the helping hand. Not doing either of the three , is accumulating the debt burden. Help others when one is firmly on one’s feet. There is place for everyone under the sun and as you said there is no ownership right on ideas. loved your post.

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  39. Let me be a little cynical, and yet agree with you. The internet is full of free, UN-adulterated information. If you don’t help the rookie, someone else will. So do you want to be the blogger who showed him the way, or someone who shooed him away when he needed help.

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    • Absolutely, Ayush! But there are still bloggers, who are not tech-savvy enough to make it through an online tutorial, and if you can explain to them in simple terms how to solve their problem, then why not?! Similar to your offer to Jyothi to make a WP theme for her!

      Reply

      • Ayush, I agree with Roshni too …I have had great difficulty understanding the jargons used in the tutorial and have often sought help to make me understand in layman language. So if there is someone who can help that way, its excellent! 🙂

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  40. I so believe in this, Roshni. We are here because of what we’ve learned from tutorials and from people who’ve taken the time to share their knowledge with us. There’s no point ‘hoarding’ knowledge, is there? Pay it forward is truly what blogging should be all about. Thanks for writing this!

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    • Of course, Corinne! As I mentioned to Vidya, you were one of the bloggers I was thinking of when I wrote the piece! My website would not have been half as beautiful without your help!

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  41. I love this post ! A lot of people have helped me in my blogging journey and I remember how much their comments meant to me. You and a few others have helped me through technical issues and for that I am so grateful !
    In our small way we can all begin by sharing posts and commenting more on bloggers that we think write very well but are not so well known !

    Reply

    • Thank you, Ruch! Yes, there is so much talent out there, I find it a shame that not many know about it! Now, with social media, it is easier to share!

      Reply

  42. Fabulous, Roshni. You’re a babe after my own heart. I totally believe that knowledge shared does not diminish the giver in any way. Wonderful topic.

    And yes, in the end, only kindness matters.
    I had gooseflesh reading this post. It is what I believe in.

    Hugs! <3

    Reply

    • Vidya, you were one of the people, along with Corinne, that I thought of when I wrote this post! I’m always so grateful to receive advice from the both of you and I always hope to share it with others as well!

      Reply

  43. Soul-searching write-up. Am a newbie in the blogging world and i too have had some similar experiences. Some of the senior bloggers do drop in and would generously leave their motivational comments on my blog, leaving me inspired for the next blog. Does unselfishness come easily to you, or you make efforts for the same?

    Reply

    • That’s an interesting question….I would say very frankly that especially after working hard to understand some blogging dilemma, the default so far has been, “wow! why was that so tough! I think I better let other people know!”…and most bloggers I know have the same reaction! 🙂

      Reply

  44. Roshni, this is beautiful and very inspiring. I like your idea about not claiming ownership, supporting new bloggers (which is so much fun, even if I often have to refer them to the more experienced members of the Blogosphere) and lots and lots of generosity 🙂 I do like reading you.

    Reply

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